Introversion vs Personal Magnetism?

Here’s an interesting question from a student:

“I’m a little confused. You say you don’t have to be an extrovert to develop personal magnetism but at the same time we have to get out there and go beyond our comfort zone to develop it. Can you elaborate?”

Regardless of your personality type, you can’t stay at home waiting for things to happen.

Action must be taken.

An introvert also doesn’t need to stay at home all day or be at a quiet corner of a party. An introvert is not sick and doesn’t need to stay in bed.

This is called giving up, and it’s not a personality type. It’s an attitude and mental state.

There are several things you need to be aware about being introverted and wanting to develop your own magnetism:

1) First, you need to find the right measure for your social activity.

For example, all introverted individuals can be outgoing at a party; it’s just harder to maintain a high amount of social activity everyday or for a large amount of hours.

It’s about finding the right balance of social activity vs quiet time that you actually need.

2) If you don’t have the Will and inner power to actually move you toward what you want, then you will revert to the more comfortable and low effort type of situation – often not doing anything and simply staying at home.

That’s why inner power is an important key. Laziness and inertia don’t have a place in personal magnetism training.

3) The less you do, the harder it is to do something. The more you reinforce your actions and power, the easier they will become.

If you are completely alone, without having any social activity (or very little), getting out there for the first time seem like an unsurmountable task.

The good news is that once you start, it gets easier. The more you put yourself out there, the easier it will become. So start small and grow from there. Start with smaller steps, and increase them little by little.

4) Finally, it’s also about finding the right social activities for you. Maybe you don’t really like clubs (or whatever other activity).

That’s perfectly fine! I also don’t like clubs so I don’t go. Many years ago, I had friends who went to clubs every weekend. As you might guess, that was not good for me. That’s not my environment. So one day I’ve decided to stop going with them.

Fast forward a few years, I now have plenty of friends that reflect my own social preferences, so being with them is a pleasure and not an effort.

Being introverted is far from being incompatible with personal magnetism. Personal magnetism is not about personality traits. It’s about energy, Will and influence. However, it is incompatible with always staying within your comfort zone and never changing your own weak internal state.

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