There is a profound difference between choosing not to do something and being unable to do it.
Choice implies power. For example, someone might decide not to show romantic interest in another person because they do not feel strongly enough, or because the timing is off.
In this case, the person retains full power and Will of their own action; the “no” comes from a clear, deliberate decision.
Inability, on the other hand, strips away your power. Imagine a person who genuinely wants to express romantic interest but finds themselves paralyzed by overwhelming anxiety. Their silence is not a product of conscious choice, but the result of an inner block that stops intention from becoming action.
To better understand the contrast, think of it this way:
Deciding not to swim because the water looks cold is a choice.
Wanting to swim but being frozen by a phobia of drowning is inability.
One is freedom exercised and the other is freedom blocked.
The real problem arises when we begin to cloak our inner inability with rational explanations. Instead of admitting the real obstacle, we create reasons that sound reasonable or even wise… anything to avoid the truth.
For instance, someone with a fear of swimming might insist, “I just don’t like cold water,” as a cover for their phobia of drowning. The excuse feels safer than admitting, even to themselves, “I’m afraid.”
A clearer everyday example: imagine a person who wants to give a public presentation but is terrified of public speaking. Rather than face the fear, they say, “I don’t care about that opportunity,” or “I’m too busy right now.” It is not lack of interest or time. It is a hidden inability that has taken control and removed their own power and Will.
The danger of such rationalizations is that they protect the block – and your own ego – instead of dissolving it.
By pretending paralysis is a decision, we fool ourselves into comfort but also into stagnation. We stay trapped within our blocks, but dressed up as if we were free.
Learning to see the difference between choice and inability is the first step. The second is working gently with those inner blocks instead of hiding them behind excuses. That is the focus of “The Unblocking Process“: a course to understand what holds you back and to practice ways of moving through it.
