There is usually a gap between your ideal self and your real self. Between an ideal scenario, you have constructed in your head and where you currently are.
Somewhere we would like to be but aren’t.
Fortunately or unfortunately, our mind will (almost) always manufacture this gap since we are constantly striving for something better.
There’s nothing wrong with that. Or at least, this is my belief. It’s healthy to strive for something better (this doesn’t necessarily mean it’s unhealthy not to).
The problem is not the gap itself. It’s how you handle the insecurity it brings.
This gap will always bring a certain amount of insecurity, after all, we are not where we would like to be… and that can lead us into dark paths.
Even though the gap is normal – and even healthy – the way you handle it may not be.
The way you handle it can be a profound neurosis. And this is what you need to heal.
You could sink into a pit of depression due to the unfulfilled dreams, or obsess over your ideal self, cry over your current state, and so on.
There are many maladaptive paths here. For example, you can fail to adjust your ideal self due to the reality around you. Or if you fail to take action because you don’t believe you can do that. Or you create a delusional real self-thinking you already achieved the ideal one.
Either way, there are many distinct paths that can lead you astray.
Of course, we want to be as mentally healthy as we can. And this includes adjusting your ideal self as life unfolds, accepting your real self as it currently is, and keeping a healthy dose of motivation to keep you acting in the real world. Failure to do that will bring you neurosis and unhappiness.
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