Many people are looking for solutions to NOT change and stay the same.

Often students seek for exercises that maintain the status quo.

Exercises that give an illusion of change without the actual change.

Actual change is hard.

You need to do things differently than you have been doing. Thinking differently, feeling differently, behaving differently.

All of it takes work.

Changing mental patterns, behavior patterns, interaction patterns is not easy.

But this type of work often brings up a lot more resistance. I know, I’ve also went though the same.

For me, during my training it was always a lot easier to do an 1 hour exercise home alone than a 10 minute exercise on a social situation.

I could fully control the home alone exercise, but I couldn’t fully control the 10 minutes on a social gathering. A lot of other variables were present.

Maybe for you it’s the same, or maybe for you it’s the exact opposite.

Either way, some patterns need to change. Because for me those “social minutes” were harder than the home alone exercise, I knew where I needed to focus more.

At least if I wanted the change that come along with it. And that’s what I did.

While if I wanted to remain the same, I would just do exclusively the exercises that were easier and natural for me, such as the ones staying comfortably at home.

I could find plenty of rationalizations for them as well. But I knew I wouldn’t change if I only did those exercises.

They were still important and required, but I also needed – much more urgently – those social ones.

With some students when it’s required to do something different, the rationalization is often the same:

“But that’s not me”

Yes, in fact it isn’t.

Your current “you” is not charismatic and magnetic. And that’s what you want to change.

There wouldn’t exist a “magnetic me” if I remained home alone doing exercises. If I didn’t want magnetism, then there wouldn’t be a problem.

But I wanted it, so something different was needed.

If you want to keep the current “you”, then you also keep what you’ve been getting with the current “you”.

Maybe it’s not that bad! But if you want different results, then you need to do different things.

Of course there’s a balance between your personality, your training and the changes to implement.

Or even a gradual implementation of certain aspects of the training.

But there must be a change.

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