For many students, sexual energy can be hard to identify, especially if they’ve never worked with energy before. One of the most common questions I get is:

“How do I know if what I’m feeling is sexual energy?”

It’s a fair question. Sexual energy isn’t always obvious. It doesn’t always come with arousal or desire. And while it can include those things, it goes deeper than that.

Sexual energy has its own qualities which are distinct from other kinds of energy. I explore those in more detail in my sexual energy book, but before diving into definitions, it’s more helpful to understand the process of sensing it.

The key is this:
You find sexual energy by moving from the gross to the subtle.

Start with what you can feel: arousal and desire. These are the surface layers.

Then, little by little, strip away the noise: the neediness, the fantasies, the tension, the mental chatter.

Let all that fall away.

What remains is something quieter. A gentle, pleasurable vibration. It doesn’t push or pull. It just sits there — steady, alive, and clear — beneath the usual noise.

That’s the core of sexual energy. Not the urge to chase, but the ability to feel.

You’ll often find it showing up alongside desire, but it feels cleaner, softer, more grounded. When you can sense that subtler current beneath the surface, you’re on the right track.

It takes time to get there. You need to learn how to notice both the obvious signals and the quiet ones underneath.

The more you pay attention, the clearer it becomes.

And once you’ve felt that deeper current, even once, you understand: it’s not about the heat… it’s about the depth.

If you want guided practices to help you tune into this energy more clearly, take a look at the course Sexual Energy Mastery. It’s built to take you from confusion to clarity, and from surface-level desire to grounded, embodied energy.

A student once asked me a great question:

“Can you be in a normal monogamous relationship and still increase your sexual magnetism?”

The answer is simple: yes.

Sexual magnetism doesn’t depend on your relationship status. It doesn’t matter if you’re single, married, polyamorous, celibate, or anything else… it’s something you build from within, not something your situation gives or takes away.

You can be in a long-term, committed, monogamous relationship and still have strong sexual presence. In fact, your partner might benefit the most from it.

Why?

Because sexual magnetism comes from knowing yourself. It’s the result of understanding your own energy and allowing it to grow. It’s about being grounded in who you are without needing to explain or hide it.

But here’s something important to keep in mind.

The relationship you’re in should support your growth, not hold it back. If you feel free to express yourself, to explore, to evolve, then the relationship becomes a space where your magnetism can thrive.

If, on the other hand, you’re cutting off parts of yourself, constantly second-guessing, or trying to fit someone else’s idea of who you should be, then yes, your energy will be limited too.

Your power lies in freedom.

Not freedom from commitment, but the freedom to be fully yourself within commitment. If your relationship allows that it will strengthen your sexual energy.

So no, your relationship (or lack there of) isn’t the problem. The only real limit is the one you place on yourself.

If you want to go deeper into this work, check out the course Sexual Energy Mastery.

Charles Haanel said:

“The law of attraction is a law of vibrations; to attract love and passion, you must emit the corresponding vibration of love and passion.”

What he means is simple but powerful: attraction isn’t about ticking off things you say or do. It’s a deeper, energetic exchange… a quiet conversation beyond words or appearances.

Think of the world as a field of vibrations, like invisible radio waves buzzing all around us. Every thought, feeling, and intention sends out a signal.

If you want to attract love and passion, your inner energy must match that frequency. It’s not about trying harder or pretending. It’s about being the vibration you want to receive.

This connects directly to the idea that we talked about in the previous emails that sexual magnetism isn’t something you do, it’s something you are.

When your sexual energy flows freely (without doubt, fear, or overthinking) you naturally give off the vibration of sex.

Your presence becomes magnetic because it carries a genuine signal of sexual energy and expansion.

And as I always say: If you want to have sex, you need to be sexual.

Like tuning a radio to the right station, you attract what matches your energy. If you’re anxious, closed off, or trying to convince others through effort alone, your vibration won’t match love or desire.

But when you stop performing and let your true sexual energy move through your voice, gaze, and posture, you send out a strong, undeniable frequency that pulls others in.

In short, sexual magnetism happens when your inner state and outer presence perfectly match the energy of sexuality. You don’t need fancy clothes, clever lines, or just confidence. You need to unlock and express the real vibration of passion inside you.

That’s the real law of attraction in action.

If you’re ready to unlock and express your true sexual energy, to stop trying and start being magnetic, the Sexual Energy Mastery course is made for you. It guides you step-by-step to unblock your energy, raise your sexual energy, and radiate that irresistible presence others can’t ignore.